So much to do, so little time.

Eating, for the most part, continues to go fairly well around here. I have finally started to relax, even on the days where The Chub Muffin eats a little less than normal. I no longer go into full-out panic mode. I've learned to try to look at the big picture. She ate exceptionally for over a month, she is allowed to have a day here and there where her intake is down. Solids are going well. We are making progress. Her intake is still not huge but I'm shifting her schedule (which should've probably been done when we started solids) to a 4 hour schedule. The 3 hour schedule was just too much now that she's having 3 solid meals a day along with 4 bottles (excluding her early morning and late night feedings). She needs some time to feel hungry and anticipate food. I'm hoping once she's adjusted to the new schedule that feedings will improve a bit. She's doing stage 2 purees now. We're moving slowly due to her sensory issues and oral aversion. The feeding therapist said we could stay at stage 2 for a few months and be completely fine. Whenever we bring anything new into the picture it takes awhile for her to get used to it and comfortable with it, so bringing in the sippy cup has been, well.... challenging.

This girl is NOT in love with her bottle, so as far as that goes, it shouldn't be a big deal to ditch the bottle in the near future. The main hurdle will be getting her to drink from something else.

Our OT came today to work with The Chubs and she is going to request a PT (physical therapist) to come twice a month so that at our sessions she can focus most of her attention on her eating and sensory issues. One hour is just not enough to cram in everything together. Plus, The Chubs gets pretty tired and a little overstimulated with so much activity.

I'm so thankful she's getting the help she needs but I have to be honest. I am exhausted. I'm tired of not only trying to feed her everyday and deal with refusal, but spending every other minute doing therapy exercises. I literally can not even count or remember all of the exercises I should be doing with her on a daily basis. There are a million feeding exercises and all these different items I need to slowly introduce at meal time and try with her. There are a million more sensory exercises and therapies that she needs to be getting daily to help regulate and organize her nervous system, along with many other gross and fine motor exercises that should only really be done on an empty stomach so she doesn't puke up her last meal.

I wouldn't trade The Chubs for any other baby in the world. She is my precious miracle, I love her so much. Sometimes I do, however, wish that I could just be a mom to her, and she could just be my daughter instead of a doctor/patient, teacher/student role 24/7. I wish I could take her to the zoo for a day without worrying about her food intake or missing any of her other "exercises" and throwing her into an overstimulated state. But normalcy has never been in cards since day one. I just wish there were more hours in the day. That's all.

The Swing is Back in Town

An old partner in crime is back in the picture again. The Chubs' infant swing. The OT from Early Intervention recommended putting her in the swing for about 15-20 minutes a day to help with her sensory issues. I have to admit, I'm not completely sure what the point is, all I know is that the little muffin smiles each time I put her in that thing. It had been several months since she last used it, so I was thinking she may not totally dig being strapped in it since in her crib she's free to roll around and contort her body in all sorts of weird ways (including frequently getting her legs stuck in the rungs), but she took to it surprisingly well. But now we have a new issue. It's so secret that her naps have been HORRIFIC for months now. They are only getting worse by the day. It's not uncommon for her to throw herself around the crib for an hour before falling asleep. It's also not uncommon for her to never fall asleep at all. "Maybe she doesn't need the rest?" you may be thinking. But if you are thinking that, I invite you to come over to witness a very tired and cranky girl right before nap time that will not stop rubbing her eyes and whining about the smallest things. SHE IS TIRED! SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP!

I don't want to hear all of the "maybe you need to put her down earlier, she could be overtired", or "maybe she wants to drop that nap", trust me, TRUST me, when I say I have tried it all. We are going through a very rough stage here and her terrible napping is making everything worse. Her eating, her disposition, our overall quality of life. Last night she cried for an hour straight before bed which involved a huge projectile puke all over the carpet. Lovely. I knew it was because she was tired but why isn't there an "off" button on these things? I hate that I have no control over getting her to fall asleep.

So all of this rambling to say, I have let us regress in the napping arena. I now cave if she has been laying awake for an hour and is clearly tired and stick her in the swing which honestly works every time. I know it's not a good habit, trust me I have always been all about sleep training and getting your child to fall asleep in their crib and self soothe. But at this point, I'm doing whatever I can to survive. If The Chubs was a normal healthy baby, I would tackle this so much differently, but she's not, so we do what we have to do to get her sleep during the day so she will eat better, and her sensory issues will not suffer further.

I'm trying to not make this a habit, I really am. But check back with me in a month. We may run our swing into the ground.