I am Thankful Today

I am thankful today.

I feel so lucky to be at home spending this day with our family and our daughter who is thriving and happy (despite what the doctors and growth chart says). This time last year we were spending the day in the Children's Hospital NICU. It was also the first day we found a bottle that The Chubs would eat from and made that critical step toward getting her to gain weight before they would allow us to go home. This time last year we didn't know how long we would be in the NICU. It was all about the numbers. She needed to eat a certain amount every day, her diapers had to weigh a certain amount and she needed to gain a certain amount. I learned to hate the scale and all of the numbers they used. Thankfully this year, the only numbers I'm concerned about are the numbers of delicious sides we'll have around our dining table. (Ok, so I would be lying if I didn't say I still am obsessed with counting how many calories The Chubs eats every day, but I'm getting better).

I am so Thankful for the support we've had over this last year. The family, friends, doctors and of course my amazing husband and best friend who have all played an intricate roll in where we are today. I'm thankful for a healthy daughter who despite her food refusal at times, is still growing and thriving and enjoying life. I'm so thankful that God gave her to us. There were times I never knew if I could be a mother or if I ever would. God gave me the greatest gift when he entrusted Lexi's life into our hands. I am forever thankful for the gift of motherhood. I will never forget the long road to get to this place and no matter how hard things might get, I would never in my life trade any of the trials of this year to go back to how things were before.

Thank you God for the precious gifts you have given me. My amazing husband that despite my craziness and sometimes borderline obsessive personality, has stuck by my side and loved me through the hardest and most painful times of life. My daughter whose name means "strength" that has truly demonstrated what it means to persevere in the midst of adversity. Although she is not aware of all the things she has endured in her short time on Earth, one day she will look back and see what a tough little cookie she actually is. Our families, who have shown great understanding, love, support and encouragement through out all of this. Our friends who loved us through the hard times and have always been there to offer a helping hand or get us out of the house to experience some normalcy.

I am thankful today. And tomorrow, and forever.

Loving Every Minute

Now that The Chub Muffin is sleeping well at night, taking decent naps, and so much more interactive, I couldn't be happier. Those first few months of marathon feedings, sleepless nights and reflux were hard. Her first few weeks of life were the hardest of my life when she was at Children's. Between the constant worrying, and lack of sleep, I was looking forward to a little bit of normalcy. Don't get me wrong, I was still so excited about her arrival, beyond thankful for the precious gift God had given me after years of uncertainty as to whether we would even be able to have a child, and a loved, loved, LOVED being a mom (something I had always dreamed about).

But right now, I have to say, life is good. Every time I get her up from a nap she smiles at me so big, my heart could burst right then and there. When I swing her around she giggles. She watches me wherever I am in the room, hoping I'll come over and play with her and when I do, a huge grin stretches across her face. She kicks her legs and flails her arms when she's excited. She talks and talks all day long, and we carry on conversations together. She concentrates so hard on what we're doing and when she can, tries her best to imitate (even when she doesn't have the coordination). She rubs and rubs her eyes when she's tired and buries her head into my chest when it's nap time. She is such a happy baby and such a joy to be around.

If I had to dream up what our first child would be like, I couldn't have dreamed something so wonderful. Thank you God, for my precious baby girl.