Tuesday, June 8, 2010
We had The Chub's weight check yesterday to make sure she's still gaining weight despite her terrible eating. Her weight was 11 lbs. 3.5oz. That means she gained 5 oz in the last 2 weeks. Not too great, but at least she's still gaining. Ideally she would've gained at least a half ounce a day. If you do the math, she obviously has not gained that much. But I need to count my blessings. She is still gaining, and that's what really matters right now. It actually feels like a huge victory in some ways. Getting her to eat everyday has been challenging to say the least. I feel like my life revolves around trying to force a bottle nipple down her throat. It's a battle back and forth. I try feeding her, she closes up her lips, fusses, turns her head, and pushes the bottle away. Today I spent the entire feeding trying to distract her with a mirror so she would eat enough.
I had a small breakdown last night. This has been going on for months now. I don't know how much I can take. But at the same time, I know the answer: I'll do whatever it takes. Because that's what you do when you're a mom. No matter how tough a situation may be, or how frustrated and overwhelmed you might get, the bottom line is you will do whatever it takes to provide the best for your child. If that means months of 40 minute struggles to get my daughter to take 1 or 2 ounces, so be it. It doesn't take away the frustration, the stress or the occasional emotional breakdown, but it reminds me that although the road may be long, we are on it together and my daughter who was definitely worth the wait, is also worth the extra effort, the tears and the $100 we'll probably need to spend replacing all the haberman bottle nipples she's chewed open. And today I'm feeling thankful. Thankful that my daughter is here after the initial scares, and questions regarding her health. And thankful that it could be so much worse than it is. I have a friend who is dealing with this with her twins and I admire her strength. I'm only struggling to feed one child each day. I can't imagine what she is going through struggling to feed two.
Thank you for your continued prayers for The Chub Muffin. Her next appointment is June 28th with genetics/metabolics at Children's Hospital.