Tuesday, June 8, 2010

11 3.5

We had The Chub's weight check yesterday to make sure she's still gaining weight despite her terrible eating. Her weight was 11 lbs. 3.5oz. That means she gained 5 oz in the last 2 weeks. Not too great, but at least she's still gaining. Ideally she would've gained at least a half ounce a day. If you do the math, she obviously has not gained that much. But I need to count my blessings. She is still gaining, and that's what really matters right now. It actually feels like a huge victory in some ways. Getting her to eat everyday has been challenging to say the least. I feel like my life revolves around trying to force a bottle nipple down her throat. It's a battle back and forth. I try feeding her, she closes up her lips, fusses, turns her head, and pushes the bottle away. Today I spent the entire feeding trying to distract her with a mirror so she would eat enough.

I had a small breakdown last night. This has been going on for months now. I don't know how much I can take. But at the same time, I know the answer: I'll do whatever it takes. Because that's what you do when you're a mom. No matter how tough a situation may be, or how frustrated and overwhelmed you might get, the bottom line is you will do whatever it takes to provide the best for your child. If that means months of 40 minute struggles to get my daughter to take 1 or 2 ounces, so be it. It doesn't take away the frustration, the stress or the occasional emotional breakdown, but it reminds me that although the road may be long, we are on it together and my daughter who was definitely worth the wait, is also worth the extra effort, the tears and the $100 we'll probably need to spend replacing all the haberman bottle nipples she's chewed open. And today I'm feeling thankful. Thankful that my daughter is here after the initial scares, and questions regarding her health. And thankful that it could be so much worse than it is. I have a friend who is dealing with this with her twins and I admire her strength. I'm only struggling to feed one child each day. I can't imagine what she is going through struggling to feed two.

Thank you for your continued prayers for The Chub Muffin. Her next appointment is June 28th with genetics/metabolics at Children's Hospital.


  1. I'm glad to hear that The Chubs is gaining weight. I know it's not exactly that amount she's supposed to gain, but I'm like you- I'm just encouraged that she's still gaining. I'm so sorry that feeding time is such a battle for you every day. I can't imagine how stressful that must be. You're an amazing mom and one day The Chubs will be able to understand and appreciate all you've done (and continue to do) for her. Hang in there, Ellie.

    Also- that is a super cute pic of a topless little Muffin sitting in the chair.

  2. I hate to hear that the Chubs is still giving you problems with eating. I hope that this clears itself up soon. I am glad to hear that she still gained, even if it wasn't as much as you would like to have seen.
    And I hate to hear that you had a breakdown. I can only imagine how hard it is to hold that little girl that you love so much and wonder why she won't eat?!?! Hang in there.

  3. Yep! That's what you do when you're a mom--and you're a great one! Keep up the good work (even though it's tiring, frustrating and stressful at times!)

  4. the break down is understandable. this mommy business is an emotional thing we are doing...and it sounds like you are doing an AMAZING job. and looking at pictures of your beautiful little girl, she looks healthy and happy!! i will be sending happy (and easy feeding) thoughts your way!