For the last week or so, I have been feeling extra emotional, stressed, anxious, depressed (you name it). It was what spurred me on to take that step and call the therapist to schedule my first session. I have never seen a therapist before but have thought about it in the past. That said, I'm very much looking forward to starting and becoming more emotionally healthy through this process. The Chubs deserves a mom that isn't running around thinking that the "voices" are after her again. (Ok, so it's not THAT bad, but it's bad enough for me to need a little support to get through the hard days.)
So today, I had to pee really bad but had just gotten The Chubs up from her nap. So I took her in with me. As I sat down and relieved myself (I know - more than you wanted to hear), guess what I saw? My dear Aunt Flo has made her very first appearance in 18 months (if you don't count her extended stay right after The Chubs was born). The last few days I was experiencing a lot of lower backpain that radiated down my thighs, and terrible headaches, which are classic pre-menstrual signs for me, but I guess I just stopped expecting it after awhile. I'd heard that many women get their periods even while they are breastfeeding but that they are sporadic, so I had prepared myself from day one to get her at some point without notice. There were countless times I felt pms-ey, but nothing ever happened, so I got over crying wolf every few weeks and just chalked up the symptoms to fatigue and stress.
And what do I have to prepare for my undesirable guest? A bunch of pads that could pass as king size mattresses that are left over from my post-pardum visit. This is how I feel: